Where’s the popcorn?
2. Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.
3. What do you call fake pasta?
4. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
5. I've decided to sell my Roomba.
It was just collecting dust anyway.
6. Why do dads feel the need to tell such bad jokes?
They just want to help you become a groan-up.
7. The Lego shop reopens tomorrow, but I recommend avoiding it for the time being.
People will be lined up for blocks.
8. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
9. Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
10. Why type of dog tells time best?
11. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they are so good at it.
12. Dad, can you put my shoes on?
No, I don't think they'll fit me.
13. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
14. I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
15. What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
16. When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
17. Where do quarterbacks go to dance?
18. Is BB hungry?
19. What are the world’s smartest animals?
Fish, because they stay in schools.
20. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?
21. Why are frogs so good at basketball?
They always make the jump shots.
22. What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
23. Why is Yoda such a good gardener?
He has green thumbs.
24. Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
25. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?
Forget it. It’s way over your head.