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By Katie Conner + Alina Bradford CNET Alexa will tell you a joke if you simply ask it to -- just say "Alexa, tell me a joke." However, you can ask more specific questions for a good laugh, too.
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By Constance Woodard Odyssey 1. Why are we doing this?
2. I have never seen any of these people in class. 3. So... who's going to tell the professor he isn't sharing his screen? 4. The professors really should've just given us all an A. 5. OK whose dog is BARKING??? 6. Y'all really need to learn to mute your mics. 7. The fact that class participation is still a part of my grade is BS 8. Wait, what are we even talking about? 9. You think the professor is going to call me out if I just start eating? 10. Oh great, of course the kid who always comments after the professor is STILL going to comment on Zoom... 11. ... and can they ever say something intelligent? 12. Do they really expect us to sit here and pay attention for a whole hour and thirty minutes? 13. Would anyone notice if I just took a picture of myself with my webcam, printed it out, and set it up in front of the screen? 14. OK maybe I should actually pay attention. 15. I guess I did kind of pay for this so I should still get my money's worth. 16. The fact that they aren't giving us at least a half refund is BS 17. Awww, look at their puppy! 18. I've got to put this on Snap! 19. Highlight of my life right there. 20. Should I sign up for OKZoomer? 21. I wonder if that really works. 22. Wait, should I sign up for "Love is Blind?" 23. OMG the application is 48 questions long?! 24. Well, it's not like I have anything better to do? 25. STOP. YOU NEED TO FOCUS. 26. I wonder how many of my classmates are in the Zoom Memes Facebook Group? 27. Oh crap. What they take pictures and put us all IN the group? 28. Shoot. Let me open it and make sure they didn't already. 29. *20 minutes later* OK, we're safe for now! 30. Shoot, I just wasted 20 minutes just looking at Zoom memes and everyone saw it. 31. At least now there's only 45 minutes left! 32. Geez, there's still 45 minutes left?! 33. UGH, I'm starving. 34. I'm going to make a sandwich, I don't care anymore. 35. *15 minutes later* OK, maybe I should actually pay some attention now. 36. At least now there's only 30 minutes left. 37. I REALLY hope the professor is recording this lecture so I can just watch later. 38. Better yet, someone better post their notes in the GroupMe after this. 39. I wonder what college was like before GroupMe?! 40. That's a world I don't want to live in. 41. *Looks at everyone else's pictures* Wow, no one is paying attention. 42. At least it's not just me. 43. Why is my roommate FaceTiming me right now?! 44. UGH, I miss my roommate. 45. People who are quarantined with their roommate and not their family really have won this battle. 46. UGH, I miss college. 47. OK, can we hurry this up?! I need to take my third nap of the day! 48. Why is he still talking? 49. Oh thank gosh I think they're done. 50. Nope just kidding, they're not. 51. If I end early will they really know? 52. STOP, I have to be an adult and sit through all of this! 53. YAY! Just kidding they're done! By Rose Gordon Sala MommyPoppins Get your little goblins giggling with these hilarious Halloween jokes for kids. They're all rated G and sure to lead to more laughs than scares! 1. Why didn't the Zombie cross the road?
He didn't have the guts! 2. What do ghosts serve for dessert? I-scream 3. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music 4. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no-body to love. 5. What do birds say on Halloween night? Trick or tweet! 6. What do witches learn at school? Spelling 7. What's a ghost's favorite game? Hide-and-ghost-seek! 8. Why are cemeteries noisy? All that coffin! 9. What's in a ghost's nose? Boo-gers 10. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch. 11. Why was the baby ghost sad? She wanted her mummy. 12. What animal is best at baseball? A bat. 13. What do you call a witch's garage? A broom closet! 14. Why do mummies have no friends? Because they're all wrapped up in themselves. 15. How does Frankenstein get around? In a monster truck! 16. Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them. 17. What is Dracula's favorite breed of dog? A bloodhound. 18. Why did the zombie stay home from school? He felt rotten. 19. What instrument does a skeleton play? The trombone. 20. What did one owl say to the other owl on October 31? Happy Owl-een! |
