How Parents Can Teach Anger Management for Kids
1. Identify what’s causing the anger and give it a “voice” for your child
Kids, especially young ones, can struggle when it comes to expressing their feelings with language, says Dr. Cook. This in turn can cause fear, panic and (you guessed it) more anger. Although adults might not take too kindly to someone else labeling their experience for them, this is absolutely an acceptable approach with children. “Labeling and explaining to your child what you believe they may be experiencing is important because it validates their experience and also teaches them not to be afraid of their feelings,” she says. Let’s say, for example, you notice that your 5-year-old is putting together a new jigsaw puzzle when suddenly pieces start flying and tortured screams ensue. You might try an insightful question to the tune of: “Are you feeling frustrated because you couldn’t figure out which piece went here? I’ve felt frustrated like that many times before...Can I help?” If you follow a similar script, Dr. Cook says your child will take comfort in knowing that it’s not just them—you’ve felt that way before and there’s a word for it, too.
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1. Identify what’s causing the anger and give it a “voice” for your child
Kids, especially young ones, can struggle when it comes to expressing their feelings with language, says Dr. Cook. This in turn can cause fear, panic and (you guessed it) more anger. Although adults might not take too kindly to someone else labeling their experience for them, this is absolutely an acceptable approach with children. “Labeling and explaining to your child what you believe they may be experiencing is important because it validates their experience and also teaches them not to be afraid of their feelings,” she says. Let’s say, for example, you notice that your 5-year-old is putting together a new jigsaw puzzle when suddenly pieces start flying and tortured screams ensue. You might try an insightful question to the tune of: “Are you feeling frustrated because you couldn’t figure out which piece went here? I’ve felt frustrated like that many times before...Can I help?” If you follow a similar script, Dr. Cook says your child will take comfort in knowing that it’s not just them—you’ve felt that way before and there’s a word for it, too.
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